7 Tips For Dealing with Grief and the Holidays

December 9, 2020

By: Victoria Assumma LCSW-R

The Holidays are challenging times when dealing with the emotional impact of losing a loved one.

This year has been extraordinarily difficult with the COVID-19 restrictions, leaving people with a profound sense of loneliness and feelings of disconnect.

As the holidays approach it is important to put things in perspective.

1. Plan ahead and let others know your wishes and thoughts for the holidays. No one can read your mind. Let others know how you are coping and what your plans are for the holidays, in advance, to alleviate pressure and stress. Be open to compromise, maybe you can try to participate in a way that will be meaningful and healing for all.

2. Recognize holidays are bittersweet. To remember the past can be painful but it also provides opportunity to recall the joys shared and the blessings in life.

3. Create new rituals, or modify old ones, in a way that will acknowledge change while honoring loved ones. Traditions can be respected but also adjusted to reflect the needs and experiences now.

4. Remember the holiday is a 24-hour day like any other day, and it will pass. Try not to make it overwhelming, stay focused on the present moment - the here and now.

5. Don't' try to do too much - remember grief takes energy- you may feel more fatigue. Ask for help, share some of the responsibilities with others - allow people to care and support you. It is in the giving that we receive. Allow others the gift of sharing and giving to those they love.

6. Find meaning in the holidays, listen to your favorite music, and try to pamper yourself, practice a balanced lifestyle of nutrition, exercise, meditation, sleep and activities.

7. Most importantly; Be kind to yourself. You have suffered a loss and the pain of grief is powerful. Know you will find a way and that there is a resilience in the human spirit.

We are here to help and support.

Blessing and peace.

Where Not to Scatter Cremated Remains

By Ballard-Durand Admin • January 23, 2025
For many folks the absolute “best” final resting place is someplace they loved when they were alive. Their “burial” plan is not to be buried at all, but to be cremated and have their ashes scattered at a special location. For those who prefer scattering there are a wide variety of options available. Still, not every scattering idea is a good idea. To help you determine if your scattering plan is a good plan be sure to consider these four things.

Funerals of Our Presidents

By Matt Fiorillo • January 9, 2025
A funeral offers a chance to say goodbye, but how do we say our farewells to those who forged the path of our nation? Presidential funerals have proven to be groundbreaking occasions that set the tone for how the nation grieves. Let’s take a look at how we as a country said goodbye to some of our most beloved leaders.

Celebrity Funerals and Ceremonies

By Matt Fiorillo • January 2, 2025
Kobe’s life is not the first to be celebrated in a large public way. Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, and John McCain all had funeral services that were shared with large groups of their fans or followers. These very large and very public funerals acknowledge the family’s loss is our loss too. They help the community heal.

Do I Need a “Final Resting Place”?

By Matt Fiorillo • November 14, 2024
Let’s face it everyone will have one, a final resting place that is. The questions you should be asking are where is it? Can it be found in the future should a family member want to do so? Is the final resting place protected? Is it hallowed ground? Will the place endure?

Five Themed Funeral Ideas to Personalize a Funeral

By Matt Fiorillo • September 17, 2024
A funeral may include some or all of the elements mentioned above. It should reflect the life of the person who died and bring comfort to close family members. Funeral directors are eager to have the service meet the family’s desires. Still, funeral directors are not mind readers.

Thinking No Funeral? Think again.

By Matt Fiorillo • September 17, 2024
Maybe you’ve said it, or thought it? “I don’t need a funeral. You can just bury me in the backyard”. That’s the male version of negating the need for a funeral. But the sentiment is not unique to men. Women just say it differently. “I don’t want you to make a fuss. I don’t need a funeral.” These folks are right. The person who died doesn’t need a funeral. They just need a legal, respectful disposal of their body. It’s the people who are left to do the work of grieving that need the support and community from a funeral.

Jewish Funeral Traditions

By Matt Fiorillo • September 17, 2024
As we begin to learn more about religious practices outside of our own, it is sometimes surprising to find how much different faiths have in common. Mourners of all faiths understand the power of grief and the comfort of community. So, what happens when a person of the Jewish faith dies, and how can a person outside that faith support a friend or neighbor who is grieving?

Veterans Day - Thank You for Your Service

By Matt Fiorillo • September 17, 2024
On Memorial Day we remember those who gave their lives in our service, on Armed Forces Day we honor those currently serving. On Veterans Day we honor all who have served our country from the Revolution in 1776 to today. Thank you.

Five “To Dos” When You Hit 70

By Matt Fiorillo • September 17, 2024
Life from age 70 to 75 is interesting. It might not be a mid-life crisis but nearly everyone finds it is a period of real-life adjustments. In moving from being a 69-year-old to 70-year-old it’s easy to say, so what? Going in, 70 might feel like the new 50. Especially if a person is healthy and active. But by 75 it usually dawns on people that 80 is not going to be the new 60! It’s time to get real and embrace and prepare for life moving forward.

Planning for Cremation

By Matt Fiorillo • September 17, 2024
Start with the end. Where will your cremated remains “rest?” On average, a cremated human body will be reduced to about five pounds of coarse “ash”. There are three general choices for resting places and a variety of options within each choice.
More Posts
Share by: